Category: Art & Literature


The Tao of C & mama

Over the weekend, I hosted another fine installment in a neverending series of teenage slumber parties.

Can you see the tiniest evidence of the scrap of influence I attempt to exert over these situations?

Oh, slumber parties. I don’t think TTOC slept at all, but his friend admitted he fell asleep at some point during the night. But they had fun, and they’re such good boys.

And tonight, Buddha the Grouch made a really tasty dinner that seemed to have been cursed for at least the last week. First, the rice he had been carefully saving for stir fry – allowing it to become the perfect texture – got eaten. Then he got sick. Then today, when he finally got down to cooking this epic meal, he opened the tofu to discover it smelled like, as he described it, cat butt. And it really did. I’m not sure how that happened with unopened tofu that was not yet past its expiration date, but man…that was the stankiest tofu I ever smelled. Tofu emergency!

We all survived, though I was worried when Monk told me he actually tasted the cat-butt tofu. He had cooked it first, so…I’m still hoping he doesn’t get sick. Yuck. I’ve never smelled tofu like that. So. Gross.

So, the way my work week works, I have two more days of work, then a day off, then one day of work, then two days off. It’s not bad. Not bad at all. Although my next day off is going to be spent running weird errands. I’m still trying to find a good rhythm. This week isn’t a good example because I’m a little rundown & feeling like taking it easy. I have things in the works for the next couple of weeks, though.Exciting times.

By the way…wtf, USA? What. The. Fickety. Fuck?

 

Today is an anniversary, of sorts. And because I’m a creature of ritual, I have made a ritual of acknowledging this particular passage of time. A day that I met someone who ended up being pretty damn special to me – but more…just special in general. In fact, the thought of this person’s particular nature to this day makes me grin. One of those people who make an impact, whose presence is unique. And, unfortunately, whose presence in my life was uniquely brief, as well as uniquely cherished. So I allowed those memories to occupy my mind a bit today, which was painful, but nice. And tomorrow is another day.

Spent much of the rest of the weekend in pursuit of the perfect shelves. I have 2-3 narrow little spaces in my house in which I would like to put shelves. But I’m unwilling to buy anything else new, and so have been perusing Craigslist for the perfect solution. I’m a bit obsessed with finding the perfect shelves for my room. I’m ready to get the stuff I need out of the boxes they are in and into some sort of accessible storage. I’m ALMOST there. My dream room…is ALMOST complete. hahaha.

It’s actually already my dream room. It has a comfy bed and a lock on the door. What more could I ask for?

I’ve been ignoring my garden for the most part. I pulled all of the weeds in my 4×4 beds last weekend. I’m still getting lots of green beans. A few peppers. The cucumbers are on pause.

The best part are the tomato plants by my porch. I have been threatening to transplant them for over a month now. It was my experiment to put them close to my door, so I will be sure to harvest regularly, as I am a LAZY gardener. But there’s a lot of shade where they are currently living, so it didn’t seem like they were ever going to produce fruit. However, since I’ve been too lazy to move them, they’ve been busy sprouting up high enough to grab some sunlight, and we actually have some tomatoes growing now. It’s not like a bumper crop or anything, but if it’ll allow me to be lazy, I’ll settle for a lesser yield. πŸ™‚

I’ve actually been ignoring the news, for the most part, all weekend. Bits and pieces have been penetrating, but I’ve built up a barricade. It’s not easy, nor is it permanent. But I needed a break. Maybe I still need a little bit of a break. In the meantime, I’m figuring out how I can continue to stay connected to groups locally that will enable me to do what I can in the amount of time I have available. I’m sure I’ll be back to reading the news more diligently soon.

For the most part, I’ve spent the weekend watching Let’s Plays of The Sims 3. In other words, I’ve been watching videos of someone else playing The Sims. Hahaha. And to add to the meta-tasticness of it, I’m mostly interested in the videos because the kid who does them reminds me of my kids – who spend much of the weekend playing video games in the next room. About halfway through the weekend, I mostly just continued because the irony of it was cracking me up.

Sometimes, it’s all you can do to just tread water.

❀

❀

I just wrote this in my journal:

…I’m blogging about writing in my journal while writing in my journal about blogging…

(and sometimes the oddest mixes happen on shuffle)

Hope, of course, is always accompanied by the fear of hopelessness, which is a legitimate fear.

[…]

The point – the only interesting point – is that we have not quit. Ours is not a fight that you can stay on very long if you look on victory as a sign of triumph or on loss as a sign on defeat. We have not quit because we are not hopeless.

My own aim is not hopelessness. I am not looking for reasons to give up. I am looking for reasons to keep on. -Wendell Berry

and this is just beautiful:

I think I could watch that video all night.

In my journal, I just wrote the words “alpha-indifferent.” Which is not at all descriptive of my feelings about that video. More like this one:

Which brings us full circle. Thematically, if not rhythmically.

❀

 

 

I always wanted to be a librarian, and now that I think of it, I kind of am. I have my library of zines and a plethora of letters and mail art from the era that I would most want to curate. Now I just need to find a way to share them.

I can share some here. I’ve spent my spare time today sorting through letters that I have in a box – mostly from around 1990-1994.

I’m pretty sure I have a box of letters that span the mid-late-80’s. At least I HOPE I do. I HOPE it didn’t get thrown away.

I will forever remember the box of mail and zines I left behind because it wouldn’t fit into my car when I moved out of the house on 49th street in a big hurry. I will always wonder what little pieces of my past remained behind in that box.

I’ve culled through letters several times, though. Tossing those that were inconsequential. Keeping those from people I really cared about. Looking back at them, I see so much I didn’t see then.

What remains is loveliness from all corners of the earth. From dear friends in IL, GA, MI, CA, CO…not to mention Finland, Denmark, England.

The perpetually-incarcerated artist/bankrobber.

The octogenarian poet from New York.

The crazy beatnik from Albuquerque who sent risque photo postcards.Β The shy young woman who sent artwork and poetry to me, tentatively.

The boy with a crush on me that I completely ignored due to my tendency to remain oblivious to such things. The junkie cartoonist from New York.

All, all, all committing paper to pen several times a month. So many letters that began with “I’m sorry it’s taken me so long to get back to you.” and “It was great to finally hear from you!”

I had their addresses memorized. Or, at least, their zip codes. I still think about them when I hear people say they are from some obscure town that someone I once knew hailed from. Midland, Michigan. Appleton, Wisconsin. Yellow River, Ohio. Fair Oaks, California. I would grow to love the way they shaped their letters and the pattern of punctuation the way most would love a face or a particular accent.

When I was in high school, I would frequently make my mother call me in sick so I could spend the day in my pajamas, answering mail. Writing letters. Waiting waiting waiting for the thick bundle of mail to drop between the screen door and the wooden door because there was too much to fit in the mailbox.

And there was mail art. Interesting envelopes. Who knows what mail I never received because of the container that held it.

Yesterday, I was thinking that my friend P is the kind of adult I always thought was cool when I was younger. Unassuming, and cool as shit. Today, glancing through this bit of my history, I realize – I am exactly the kind of adult that I wanted to be. And THAT is pretty damn cool.

Words that only come to me in disconnected ramblings. I have several articles bookmarked and random bits of essays written, but I haven’t had a chance to pull it all together. Or, more like, I haven’t been inspired to do so. Actually, more like it’s still brewing up there, and I am writing it in conversations I have throughout the days and I’m just waiting to be able to sit down and have it write itself.

Suffice to say, it has to do with the value of poetry and paintings. And how those things are devalued. And, you know how it goes…when you are suffering from writer’s malaise, everything has already been written, so what’s the point in rewriting it in inferior language. Just listen to The Ex song posted above…you’ll get the drift.

Or read this interview with Noam Chomsky:

Anarchism is quite different from that.Β  It calls for an elimination to tyranny, all kinds of tyranny.Β  Including the kind of tyranny that’s internal to private power concentrations.Β  So why should we prefer it?Β  Well I think because freedom is better than subordination.Β  It’s better to be free than to be a slave.Β  Its’ better to be able to make your own decisions than to have someone else make decisions and force you to observe them.Β  I mean, I don’t think you really need an argument for that.Β  It seems like … transparent.Β The thing you need an argument for, and should give an argument for, is, How can we best proceed in that direction?Β  And there are lots of ways within the current society.Β  One way, incidentally,Β  is through use of the state, to the extent that it is democratically controlled.Β  I mean in the long run, anarchists would like to see the state eliminated.Β  But it exists, alongside of private power, and the state is, at least to a certain extent, under public influence and control β€” could be much more so.Β  And it provides devices to constrain the much more dangerous forces of private power.Β  Rules for safety and health in the workplace for example.Β  Or insuringΒ  that people have decent health care, let’s say.Β  Many other things like that.Β  They’re not going to come about through private power.

That’s about where my head is at right now.

❀

 

Solsticephotowalk

Today started with _And the Ass Saw the Angel_

Breakfase

Breakfast

And ended with an Overpass Light Brigade.

IMG_8039

 

IMG_8042

Tomorrow, we take back #ourpower

IMG_8056

I hope to see you there.

 

To give you an idea of where my head is at tonight…I just spent about half an hour making this sign for my door:

Lainie's Lair

My New Door Sign

Proving a few things. First: That I probably have too much time on my hands. Second: That living with 4 boys is finally starting to get the better of me. Third: I’m either really rusty at freaking Microsoft Publisher, or this damn computer sucks. I’ma blame the controller this time.

Also the omnipresence of boys in my damn room. Ugh. Love those kids, but I’m trying to create a little sanctuary of Lainieness in here. Hehehe.

(And this is why I will never live with anyone I’m in a relationship with unless I have my own damn room. It doesn’t have to be big. It doesn’t have to be fancy. It just has to be mine. Mine Mine Mine.)

In other words, this is the one place in the house that doesn’t smell like permafart, and the mess contained within is almost always caused exclusively by me, and is usually not slimy, moldy, or otherwise offensive. At least not to me.

In other other words…it’s my goddess haven. ❀

Did I mention I’m going to paint the doors and closet with chalk paint so I can make chalk drawings on them? πŸ™‚ I’m psyched. Also, I’m getting a lovely painting from one of my favorite superheroes to hang in the blank space over my dresser. It’s all limety-green.

Today was work, and reckoning, and saying goodbye. Again. There are multiple layers of goodbye, it seems. And it’s ok. I’m ok. It’s just…it takes time. And I’m taking my time. Savoring the heartbreak, because you never know when you’ll get your heart broken again.

This last bit of goodbye (for now. for now. for now) required a pleasant walk to the post office, and a lovely blustery return.

I saw Monk parakeets

and revisited the pomegranate tree

But still no rain.

(no politics tonight. <3)

Rug

Rug

My room/office is very slowly still coming together. The clutter! The clutter! I’m still sorting through the clutter. But this feels good on my feet, and my new chair feels good on my back, and hand-me-down furniture is really the best thing ever.

rumbled paradise

rumbled paradise

And there’s something about a freshly-made-then-rumpled bed. I was staring at it longingly all day. From my desk. About three feet away.

flowers

flowers

and absent-minded flower doodles.

I’m having to deal with issues surrounding the person I’m forever having to deal with issues surrounding. It’s annoying and frustrating. (I wanted to qualify that with a “but” statement, but…But what?)

But…nothing.

And then there’s…that.

Lots going on this week. But tonight, it’s dancing in my room, writing, reading…the usual.

***

This made me happy today:

The Warriors never set foot in the Bronx

This might come as a surprise, seeing as how the movie revolves around a New York City gang trying to make their way from the Bronx’s Van Cortlandt Park to Brooklyn’s Coney Island, but filming only took place in Manhattan, Brooklyn, and Queens. However, authenticity aside, The Warriors captured nighttime New York in a way that very few movies had previously, using some insanely brilliant and memorable locations.

Let’s see how many we can find.

http://www.scoutingny.com/?p=6629

CBS ALMOST gets it right:

In a special report on face recognition, 60 Minutes warns us that we have nowhere to hide — that our anonymous space is approaching non-existence. Framing the problem through a simplistic (andΒ inaccurate) division between corporate and government deployments of the technology, CBS warns us that big business plans to exploit our faces for economic gain, whether we like it or not, while government plans to use the technology to keep us safe.

But all is not equal, the narrative says: according to the bureau, the FBI is bound by strict regulation and needs lots more data to be effective. Unfortunately, CBS repeats the government’s claims as journalistic fact — no matter that they are false.

http://www.privacysos.org/node/1065

This is amazing:

Foreclose on Banks Not People

Foreclose on Banks Not People

 

For more information:

Five years after Wall Street crashed the economy, not one banker has been prosecuted for the reckless and fraudulent practices that cost millions of Americans their jobs, threw our cities and schools into crisis, and left families and communities ravaged by a foreclosure crisis and epidemic of underwater mortgages.

Record profits are back at the bailed-out banks. Meanwhile:

  • Homeowners and communities have lost billions to Wall Street’s foreclosure crisis;
  • Millions more families face foreclosure in the coming months;
  • Communities of color have been impacted the most.

http://occupywallst.org/article/people_are_too_big_to_fail/

100 Days of Hunger:

Over the last three days Anonymous β€˜Operation Guantanamo’ hashtags #OpGITMO and #GTMO have skyrocketed in popularity on Twitter, drawing attention to the 100th day of the inmates’ hunger strike, as their protest becomes a question of life and death.

http://rt.com/news/anonymous-twitter-guantanamo-strike-505/

Are you starting to see all of the connections yet?

Canada’s tar sands are the third biggest oil reserve in the world, but separating the oil from the rock is energy intensive and causes three to four times more carbon emissions per barrel than conventional oil. Hansen argues that it would be “game over” for the climate if tar sands were fully exploited, given that existing conventional oil and gas is certain to be burned.

“To leave our children with a manageable situation, we need to leave the unconventional fuel in the ground,” he said. Canada’s ministers were “acting as salesmen for those people who will gain from the profits of that industry,” he said. “But I don’t think they are looking after the rights and wellbeing of the population as a whole.

“The thing we are facing overall is that the fossil fuel industry has so much money that they are buying off governments,” Hansen said. “Our democracies are seriously handicapped by the money that is driving decisions in Washington and other capitals.”

http://www.guardian.co.uk/environment/2013/may/19/tar-sands-exploitation-climate-scientist

This is beautiful:

UPDATE: Midland Avenue Neighborhood Relief will be helping and reaching out to our neighbors in Oklahoma.We have seen charities and so called relief agencies fall short when it comes to keeping compassion and humanity when people are in need of help after a disaster.We will be forwarding resources and funds to the people of Oklahoma whether it be delivering it through mutual aid networks with ourselves on the ground or diverting funds to proper efforts there.We stand with Oklahoma. We know ourselves firsthand what it is like to be left to our own means.Help us stand with them.Β https://www.wepay.com/donations/midland-beach-relief

In case you didn’t hear:

A massive, mile-wide tornadoΒ touched downΒ in Moore, Oklahoma Monday afternoon, killing at least 51 people, including 20 children. A reporter from local news station KFOR supposedly called it “the biggest, most destructive tornado in the history of the world,” and estimated it was two to three times the magnitude of the massive tornados that hit Oklahoma in 1999.

http://gawker.com/the-biggest-most-destructive-tornado-in-history-just-508956719?utm_campaign=socialflow_gawker_facebook&utm_source=gawker_facebook&utm_medium=socialflow

And, on that note…

 

Dear You,

I see you’ve found an ambivalent lover to be ambivalent about. That’s…an interesting turn of events. Let me know how it works out for you. Sometimes ambivalence is the best possible target to shoot for. Especially in the stillness of remembering…

…there’s only so much oxygen.

Today was wake and work and walk and other stuff in between. The walk was delightfully windy. Deliciously unwarm. Not cold, just unwarm. I told myself as I walked “I’ll head home when I feel raindrops.” and I never did, so I walked the full 3.2 miles. Showered. Put pajamas BACK on. Streeeetch. Waiting for the rain. Content. A little sleepy.

Such a lovely voice. Such a wonderful thought.

(Lay back and listen.)

And then…

…why not go outside and try to stop them?

*****

 

“TransCanada claimed they were invited for their β€œexpertise”. In fact Thompson was invited to a luncheon talk with only one speaker, S. James Anaya (UN Special Rapporteur on the Rights of Indigenous Peoples, who by the way has been denied entry into Canada for official visit to investigate the human rights situation of indigenous peoples there). All others, including Thompson, were invited as participants.”Β http://www.tarsandsblockade.org/transcanada-harvard/

 

“Wal-Mart Stores said it won’t accept an agreement β€œat this time” to improve fire and building safety in Bangladesh that is supported by labor monitoring groups and was signed by several retailers this week.

Instead, in the wake of the deadly Rana Plaza building collapse, the world’s largest retailer announced that it would undertake public safety inspections at all of its suppliers’ authorized factories in Bangladesh. Labor groups say that measure falls short of what is necessary to ensure worker safety.”
http://www.washingtonpost.com/business/economy/wal-mart-to-conduct-safety-inspections-at-all-279-bangladesh-supplier-factories/2013/05/14/c90598e2-bce7-11e2-97d4-a479289a31f9_story.html

 

“The blockade to protect Jeremy’s house has officially begun.

After a King County Superior Court commissioner denied Jeremy Griffin – a South Park, Seattle resident β€” his motion to stay his eviction, the Sheriff posted a notice ordering himΒ to vacate his home by early Wednesday morning.

This is a scene that has played out millions of times across the country and thousands of times in Washington State. But this time, the Sheriff will meet resistance.

With numerous lawsuits pending against the big banks for their illegal evictions, their refusal to negotiate with families, and their well-documented acts of fraud, the banks have lost their right to prey on our community. With hundreds of Seattle homes going to auction each month and with more vacant homes than there are homeless people, we need a moratorium on all bank evictions.

SAFE (Standing Against Foreclosure & Eviction) will stand with Jeremy to defend his home.”Β http://safeinseattle.org/?page_id=113

 

In case anyone’s interested, this fat girl gives not a single flying fuck about Aberwhoozy and Fiwhatzits. That ugly-ass Igor looking dude can bite my pimply fat ass.Β (Also, if you try to give me an A&F shirt to wear in order to punish that asshole for his idiotic remarks, I’m likely to punch you in the throat. Fuck ’em. Let the assholes self-identify & don’t exploit our homeless brothers and sisters to prove a point that’s self-evident.)Β http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/05/14/abercrombie-and-fitch-homeless-brand-readjustment_n_3272498.html

 

 

 

 

 

 

Mornings on the porch

Mornings on the porch

Working from home has been a lot like funemployment, only with slightly less time to waste. I need to make a few adjustments in priority, and maybe rein in some of my slack-time, but I’m amazed at how little “pressed for time” I’m feeling. It’s nice. I mean, I’m attributing it to the fact that I’m now working from home, but it could also be my general attitude about my job. Or maybe it was having 2 months off to really contemplate things. I feel like I know what’s important, and I’m getting that. I’m managing to spend time with friends and family pretty regularly. I’m still managing to do some amount of creative work every day. I’m reading. I’m getting a fair amount of exercise (though I’d prefer to get more)…little adjustments to make here & there, but overall, I can’t complain.

On the fridge

On the fridge

I do still need to get into some sort of time budget, as well as a budget budget. But there’s time for that. There’s time for that. There’s easing into time for that.

And all things, really.

all things, really

all things, really

*******

After a year-long journey fighting her wrongful foreclosure, Rose McGee has won a settlement with CitiMortgage and Fannie Mae to stay in her home.

β€œWe are working on final details for a settlement resolution, and I will be staying in my home,” said Rose.

70 community members gathered to support Rose in a prayer vigil circling the Government Center water fountain Tuesday afternoon before she went into settlement court, where she finally reached a deal with CitiMortgage and Fannie Mae.

http://www.occupyhomesmn.org/rose_victory

Free Minds, Free People is a national conference convened by the Education for Liberation Network that brings together teachers, high school and college students, researchers, parents and community-based activists/educators from across the country to build a movement to develop and promote education as a tool for liberation. Read more about our mission and goals.

The 2013 conference will take place in Chicago, July 11-14. In the aftermath of a strike that brought teachers and community together to successfully challenge corporate education reform, we are excited to offer people who care about education justice the opportunity to connect, learn, and plan for action in this important city.

http://www.fmfp.org

https://www.facebook.com/events/138976599582671/

 

Blueberry Scones w/Lemon Glaze:Β http://www.katiescucina.com/2013/05/blueberry-scones-with-lemon-glaze/?utm_source=feedly&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+blogspot%2FeVgcK+(Katie’s+Cucina)

University of California, Berkeley police arrested four people Monday morning and a plow turned under crops planted in protest at a makeshift farm encampment set up on university property.

Activists had occupied a tract of farmland β€” located near the corner of Marin and San Pablo avenues, part of a property they referred to as the Gill Tract β€” owned by the university on Friday, protesting plans to build senior housing and a grocery store on the site.

http://earthfirstnews.wordpress.com/2013/05/14/four-arrested-crops-removed-from-occupy-the-farm-site/

They reap the profits (and the ridiculous tax breaks) while we pay the cost. Funny how that works:

“Exxon Mobil Corp. is challenging $1.7 million in penalties proposed by federal safety regulators who faulted the oil company over a 63,000-gallon crude oil spill into the Yellowstone River, according to documents released Monday by the U.S. Department of Transportation.In the first formal response to the alleged violations, Exxon attorneys said the company’s workers responded appropriately to warnings that the 12-inch Silvertip pipeline was endangered by erosion along the Yellowstone near the town of Laurel.”Β http://fuelfix.com/blog/2013/05/14/exxon-challenges-1-7m-yellowstone-spill-penalty/

(File under: Why we need government, or some sort of citizen body, to determine and oversee equitable access to resources)

“Google has tried to put the best face on this by portraying the qualification process as a sort of community kumbaya, β€œallowing the citizens of City to determine where and when the Project will be deployed.” (The words come from Google’s contract with Kansas City, Mo.)But that’s nonsense. Had the city tried to make that determination through its elected representatives, say by requiring service to underprivileged neighborhoods, Google’s response would have been, β€œAdios.” The company’s goal was to spend money where it was likeliest to attain a critical mass of customers. The inevitable outcome was an economic one: redlining.Google insists it wants to close the digital divide. But private companies have to make money, and reinvesting in the public interest is always going to be a secondary concern.”http://news.zurichna.com/article/0c4a7a574b7821f4464332bda02e01dd/will-poor-people-get-google-fiber

“Chase, the lawsuit claims, effectively used California’s judicial system like a “mill” to obtain default judgments and garnish borrowers’ wages. The bank filed thousands of lawsuits every month from January 2008 until April 2011, the stateΒ claims. On one day alone, Chase lodged 469 such suits.

Chase also sought default judgments against borrowers who were military members on active duty, the suit claims.

β€œAt nearly every stage of the collection process, defendants cut corners in the name of speed, cost savings and their own convenience, providing only the thinnest veneer of legitimacy to their lawsuits,” the complaint says.”

http://legalschnauzer.blogspot.com/2013/05/from-bogus-lawsuits-to-threats-via.html

***

“It seems that we have been reduced almost to a state of absolute economics, in which people and all other creatures and things may be considered purely a economic in “units,” or integers of production, and in which a human being may be dealt with, as John Ruskin put it, “merely as a covetous machine.” And the voices bitterest to hear are those saying that all of this destructive work of mindless genius, money, and power is regrettable but cannot be helped.” -Wendell Berry

***