Tag Archive: taoism


First porch sit of the year!

Close your eyes, let your hands and nerve-ends drop, stop breathing for 3 seconds, listen to the silence inside the illusion of the world, and you will remember the lesson you forgot,” -Jack Kerouac

The waning light and spent goldenrod

I waited until too late in the day to have my first porch-sit of the year, but I didn’t let that stop me. Jones was like “Where you been? I’ve been out here all winter holding this whole shitshow down!”

Critical porch-sitting supplies

And he really has. If there is one thing I have learned since moving here, it’s the importance of a good barn cat.

My demanding companion

In answer to his question, I’m having Tune Church all day with this Flux album. While I liked the other Flux of Pink Indians records in theory. In practice, there are only so many times one can endure the heavy feedback and painful moaning in The Fucking Pricks Treat us Like Cunts, or the straight-ahead britanarchopunk aesthetic of Neu Smell or Strive To Survive, Causing The Least Suffering Possible. While they all have their merits, they just aren’t heavy rotation material to me. On the other hand, I have literally been listening to Uncarved Block all damn day today.

Lyrically, the album wavers between cynicism and resolve. The songs wrestle with the concepts of facing and overcoming our individual insignificance in the struggle, and are often (intentionally?) disjointed and contradictory. Like free verse. Heavily influenced by Taoism, no concrete answers are provided.

And like free verse AND Taoism, meanings proliferate and dynamically rearrange themselves depending on your mood on any given listen. Even the song order is unclear, as the album version does not have a clear “Side 1” and “Side 2” label. The lyrics on the back of the LP appear in random order.

Song list and lyrics on the back of the LP

The opening, “The Value of Nothing,” is a percussive instrumental with some soundscaping that fades into a saxophone sample and slightly less percussive beats. It’s all basically foreplay before “Youthful Immortal” bursts onto the scene like spring after a long Maine winter. “Emerging from a long dark tunnel / to be blinded by the bright light / love can be so easily distorted / when for survival forced to fight.

“Just Us” creates another percussive bridge with dubs and effects and echoes…

“Children Who Know,” juxtaposes the “same bigotry breaking into war” with the “same people nurtur[ing] bud into bloom.” and the Same Children playing revolution in the park” while “artistry just collects the fragments into manageable chaos.” and culmiinates in the anthemic “I cling desperately to my last two beliefs: Firstly – I believe nothing and in nothing. Secondly – I believe everything and in everything.” And “Martyrdom offers nothing. I love this world and my life upon it. I grasp the hand of happiness whenever it is offered.”

I can’t express enough how much it has meant to me throughout my life to be exposed to artists and people who fully understand the joy of the world AND the pain of the world. It brings to mind this poster from the band’s previous labelmate (and 15-year old Bjork’s first band) KUKL

“Footprints in the Snow” refers to transience of life, as well as of the way we show up while we are alive. Like the rest of the album, the song presents contradictory thoughts and weaves them together in a collage of repeating words and rhythms. It is a song that is sadly appropriate for our time, as spring approaches and we are still sending soldiers off to war.

The entire album is sonically recapped in “Nothing is not done,” which then leads into the monotone chant of “The Stonecutter,” which acts as an footnote to the entire album. Warning “I slept with God but discovered, you cannot rescue whom you follow.” And closing with “Looking into mirrors, denying my reflection / while the ripples in the pond radiate further // Refusals or demands, there is a difference. So many words we did not say.”

Ain’t that the truth.

The inner album sleeve.

Anyway. That album felt important to listen to today. So I pretty much didn’t do anything other than that.

And then the sun came out and melted most of the snow and I sat out on my porch and watched the chickens put themselves to bed, and then I went out there in the gross muck and shut them all up.

As part of my normal seasonal solipsism, I am thinking about how I want to spend my time as the days lengthen and the weather begins to warm. I read back over this blog, trying to sort out what the heck I’m even doing here and whether it’s worthwhile to me to keep doing it. I enjoyed going back in time and spelunking through old blog posts. Criminy, I’m old. And also, I have done some cool stuff that I’m pretty proud of.

In general lately, I find myself sifting through personal data to figure out what to get rid of and what to keep. Recordings, photos, writing, art…Not that I’m planning on going anywhere anytime soon, but when I do go, I don’t want anyone to have to deal with like a jump scare of a random erotic journal entry or me saying something regrettable about someone in a moment of venting frustration. In an attempt to prevent this from happening, I have a project I am slowly working on for the rest of my life of transcribing what I think may be of interest to the kids or whoever, and then tearing up that journal and making it into a collage.

So far, I have completed one journal. I have like 89 thousand journals, so I better start getting on that immortal life thingy.

A journey (journal?) of 1000 miles begins with one step?

And while we’re talking in aphorisms, isn’t it all just rearranging deck chairs on the Titanic, anyway?

Wilbur can hear me…he’s just not listening.

I guess when it comes down to it, I just want the historical record to be clear that I was a human being who was on the right motherfucking side of history. And also, I had pretty good taste in music, and some really nice friends. Oh, and my kiddos are pretty neato, too. And I raised up a very good dog.

What am I even going on about anymore? I think I’ve been Daylight Savingsed. Yeah. That’s what I’ll blame it on.

February in summary

Oh, so also I’ve decided since we’re all going to be forced to live through historical fucking times forever, I might as well make record of notable events here in the blog again. You’ll have to give me a moment to re-develop my witty political banter and my link sources so I can actually find useful information.The good news is I’ll always put it at the end of my post so if you are all newsed out, you can just skip it.

Listening to the news

I am really really really REALLY going to try to maintain a weekly post schedule. But I don’t want to say that out loud, because saying it out loud is the kiss of death!

Linky Links

Before we get to the wretched present, please allow me to indulge in some memory lane stuff:

This interview with one of the guys from Flux of Pink Indians was nice, though this particular guy didn’t have a lot to do with the Uncarved Block LP.

I was recently reminded of this interview of Marc Ruvolo on Jughead’s basement, and enjoyed hearing them talk about the Chicago scene from the 80’s.

Last week, I watched Belfast, and will probably watch it again. The child’s POV was intriguing, and the sparse dialog. I might write more about it later. I’m trying to spend more time with the media I consume, rather than devouring one movie after another and not taking any time to think about or process what I’ve seen.

Anyway – on to the present. Such as it is…

“For all the fretting about AI, an autonomous machine is already in charge.”

Why We Struck Iran, by Ken Klippenstein: https://open.substack.com/pub/kenklippenstein/p/why-we-struck-iran


“A court record reviewed by 404 Media shows privacy-focused email provider Proton Mail handed over payment data related to a Stop Cop City email account to the Swiss government, which handed it to the FBI.”

Proton Mail Helped FBI Unmask Anonymous ‘Stop Cop City’ Protester, by Joseph Cox / 404 Media: https://www.404media.co/proton-mail-helped-fbi-unmask-anonymous-stop-cop-city-protestor/


“The other thing I’m thinking about is relational credibility. The people who’ve taken me seriously over the years when I’ve challenged them are people who know from my actions that I’m invested in their well-being and survival. Even if they think I’m completely wrong about prisons or policing or whatever else, they know I want them safe, I want them alive, I want them to be okay.

If what’s established between us is only that I’m the person telling you you’re wrong, that’s a thin foundation. But if there’s some trust there, if I’ve demonstrated care, then there’s more room for someone to sit with discomfort instead of immediately defending against it. And I’ve gotten more mindful over time about how I’m positioned in those conversations.

Have I given this person a reason to trust me? Am I actually in relationship with them in a way that allows for some vulnerability? Because not everyone is, and not every confrontation is mine to initiate or see through.”

From Movement Memos: The Science of Unlearning And Why Organizers Need It, Mar 5, 2026
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-science-of-unlearning-and-why-organizers-need-it/id1498485210?i=1000753172304&r=3018



“The president’s extremely online staff is posting ‘Grand Theft Auto’ memes and cracking jokes about his Iran war as energy prices explode.”

Trump’s White House Posts Fascist Memes As It Wrecks the Economy, by Asawin Suebsaeng and Andrew Perez / zeteo: https://zeteo.com/p/trump-iran-war-grand-theft-auto-memes?publication_id=2325511&post_id=190155181


Before you share that story about how troops were told the Iran War is for “Armageddon,” read this: https://www.friendlyatheist.com/p/before-you-share-that-story-about


They oppress, we resist…

Trans Residents Sue Kansas Over New Law Outlawing Their Current Licenses: https://truthout.org/articles/trans-residents-sue-kansas-over-new-law-outlawing-their-current-licenses/

It’s all done! ❤

Tattoo accomplished! I feel complete, and at the same time…I suddenly have the desire to get a bunch more tattoos. I just saw a picture of a really cool crow tattoo and I was like “Oooooh…I could have a crow on my right arm.” It’s like that. I’ve heard many people say tattoos are like potato chips…you can’t stop at just one.

But for now I’ll enjoy my artichoke, and be glad that I finally got it done. And, as it turns out, I waited just long enough for it to be perfect timing. Everything that is happening in my life right now enhances that tattoo, gives it more meaning, provides a particular context, and makes it even more special than I thought it would be when I first had the idea to tattoo a flaming heartichoke on my arm many years ago.

That’s just how things go. We always think we know the best timing for certain things, and frequently discover that the universe (or whatever you want to call the infinite stage upon which our lives unfold) has other ideas – often better ideas – about how and when things will unfold. It’s why I’ve never put much stake in making plans and having goals. Instead, I try to pay attention to natural rhythms in my life and focus on a center based on how I feel about life. I mean, to be sure, I make plans and have goals, but I try. I try. I really try to remain open to all of those variables that tend to rearrange those plans and throw a monkeywrench into those goals.

“There is no way to suppress change […] there is only the choice between a way of living that allows constant, if gradual, alterations and a way of living that combines great control and cataclysmic upheavals. Those who panic and bind the trickster choose the latter path. It would be better to learn to play with him, better especially to develop styles (cultural, spiritual, artistic) that allow some commerce with accident, and some acceptance of the changes contingency will always engender. -Lewis Hyde (from Trickster Makes the World: How Disruptive Imagination Creates Culture.)

I have many things in my life that I am thankful for. One of which is an early exposure to Taoism, which has always allowed me to convince my frequently fraught mind that, really, none of this matters. And if I just sit still and wait patiently, a lot of times things just work themselves out. And when they don’t, I have more energy to devote to working them out because I did sit patiently the last time. And when they REALLY don’t, fuck it. In the end, it never mattered anyway.

Bird, age 12, mentioned today that he suddenly didn’t have any idea what life was all about. He said it as though he had known 5 minutes before and lost it. It was one of those moments where I thought maybe I was being called upon to Be Wise. I did my best. I looked to punk rock for the meaning of life, as I frequently do, and told him “Strive to survive, causing the least suffering possible.” I also reminded him that he’s 12, and it’s ok to just enjoy life and maybe not worry about what it means so much right now. But who am I fooling? This is the kid who, at age 2, would walk up to me and ask “Why am I alive inside this body, mom?”

My job as this child’s parent is to learn the lessons he is constantly teaching me, teach them back to him, and try to honor and welcome the trickster when our plans and goals are sidetracked or rerouted.

*

(But not really)

(It only feels that way sometimes)

I was out of coffee this morning, so I had tea for breakfast. Ummmmmmmm.

Tea for breakfast

Tea for breakfast

Let’s just say it’s a good thing I also started the day reading a hippie peace magazine. I had no idea coffee was so much of a factor in the outcome of my day, but around 3, after a pleasant lunch with a friend, I was pretty freaking irritable.

My mood was probably not aided by the fact that late afternoon I went out to the garage to clean it, and decided I need to wait until the next bulk trash collection. Mostly, it’s a bunch of large items (read: mattresses) that need to be tossed, and every empty box for every single thing my housemate owns. I’m not sure why he’s storing all of that, but once we get rid of all of the dead computers, mattresses, and old bicycles, there will plenty of room for those types of eccentricities.

For now, however, the garage is an impenetrable, uncleanable wasteland. Especially in the middle of a day without coffee.

So, I gave in. I thought I had a handle on my caffeine addiction, but clearly it has a hold on me. I took Tao of C out to get coffee and muffins, and we sat out on the front porch, enjoying the lovely spring weather.

Precious Necter

Precious Necter

The remains of my butter rum muffin

The remains of my butter rum muffin

Shaunee

Shaunee

After that, I painted some patches of color on various walls of my room, to see how the light looked on them. I had two shades of green and a light lavender. I chose the lavender. It’s pretty close to this color (depending on your monitor, I guess):

Light Lavender

Light Lavender

The friend who was with me when I chose the sample colors was a bit put off by the prospect of a purple room, and persuaded me in the direction of the green, BUT…it’s such a lovely, subtle color I don’t think I can resist it. I kind of can’t wait to paint, but I have an awful lot of room cleaning/organization to do. And room cleaning/organization is making me feel like I need to do WHOLE HOUSE cleaning/organization.

One thing at a time, though.

I was talking to a friend about Way of the Peaceful Warrior by Dan Millman. I finished reading it yesterday. Several people have told me this is an amazing book. The book itself says that it “changes lives.” Truthfully, it just pissed me off. I mean, it wasn’t a bad story. Clearly, it held my attention for a few hours. I think the end of the book was the most dissatisfying to me. *Spoiler alert* (ish)

So, the book is about this man’s quest for spiritual enlightenment, and towards the end, the man gets married and he and his wife have a child, and he’s still not satisfied with his life, so he just takes off to find what he’s been seeking all of his life, ends up in the mountains somewhere and finally finds it.

Here’s the thing that pisses me off…how is it that anyone can just run off seeking enlightenment and leave the care of a child to their spouse (or even ex-spouse) alone? WTF, man? I mean, maybe they had some sort of agreement or something, but really? That shit doesn’t fly with me. Figure it the fuck out WHILE you are taking care of your responsibilities, please. You are no hero or positive role model or even moderately decent spiritual leader or teacher to me if you can’t at least be there for your family. Sorry. Most of us can’t just hide from our lives while we seek what we already have.

The whole thing made me feel blessed (again) for having somehow ended up in a philosophy class the summer of my 6th grade year. I’m not even sure how I managed to get into the class, but I do remember picking up the Tao Te Ching for the first time, and the fascination I felt for the concepts of Taoism. There were several passages that I copied down and kept with me always, particularly the one about the value of nothing:

Thirty spokes share one hub. Adapt the nothing therein to the purpose in hand, and you will have th use of the cart. Knead clay in order to make a vessel. Adapt the nothing therein to the purpose in hand, and you will have the use of the vessel. Cut out doors and windows in order to make a room. Adapt the nothing therein to the purpose in hand, and you will have the use of the room. Thus what we gain is Something, yet it is by virtue of Nothing that this can be put to use.

Lao Tzu

That passage defines my spirituality.  My journey. I like to joke with people that Taoism ruined me for all other philisophical endeavors. Why bother trying to puzzle out the origins or meanings of the universe? It just is. I don’t need to freaking isolate myself on a mountaintop to figure that shit out. In fact, that defeats the whole purpose! Duh. If you aren’t seeking enlightenment in the context of your everyday life, then why fucking bother? What you need to do is create your mountaintop within that context. THEN you’re golden.

That said, the idea of escaping to a mountaintop to be in solitude for awhile is definitely appealing to me.

My other favorite Taoist principle is The Uncarved Block. I like the way Flux (one of my favorite punk bands) interprets it:

Nature knows no divisions / one field runs into the next / Having erected fences / I am imprisoned inside my head.

If you can picture me as a high school student, you should picture me carrying around a huge notebook full of bad poetry with that quote on the cover. Because, pretty much, that’s where my head was at.

The best thing is that both of those quotes have evolving meanings that continuously adapt to the circumstances in my life. I always return to them, and they always direct me towards my center. And soothe.

Here’s another favorite of mine that I go back to all of the time. It’s from Jack Kerouac’s Scripture of the Golden Eternity, which I guess is technically more Buddhist than Taoist, but whatever:

A hummingbird can come into a house and a hawk will not: so rest and be assured. While looking for the light, you may suddenly be devoured by the darkness and find the true light.

It’s all about ebb and flow, baby. Ebb and flow. And being that humans are more than half comprised of water, I don’t have to go to a freaking mountaintop to observe that. I just have to listen to the murmuring brook inside of me and everyone around me.

***

Today, there is some good news:

BREAKING: Today we’re partnering with the Mayors Innovation Project to announce that *nine* US City Mayors have committed to pursue divestment. These cities join Seattle and San Francisco, bringing the number of municipal governments pursuing fossil fuel divestment to eleven.

SHARE to help spread this big news! The battle isn’t over yet, even in these ten cities. But let’s give a big thank you to these mayors for doing the right thing by their cities and the planet. We’ll be watching closely to see where they take it from here.

*UPDATE: We just heard from the Mayor of Santa Fe, and they’re in too!* http://gofossilfree.org/

Crossing fingers on this one:

“Michael Bishop, who is fighting to stop the Canadian tar-sands oil pipeline from crossing his property, asked a U.S. judge to invalidate TransCanada’s permits and order public hearings on Keystone’s route through Texas and Oklahoma. The Corps of Engineers is the federal agency that issues construction permits for projects that impact waterways and wetlands.” http://fuelfix.com/blog/2013/04/25/texas-farmer-sues-us-army-corps-of-engineers-over-keystone/

I like it when the State Department is rebuked:

The EPA has now issued a harsh rebuke to the State Department’s report, calling for a more careful study of the pipeline. The EPA questioned State’s conclusion that Keystone won’t have a significant environmental or climate impact, and slapped the overall document with the shoddy rating of “Environmental Objections Insufficient Information.” https://secure.sierraclub.org/site/Advocacy?cmd=display&page=UserAction&id=10945#.UXnHR9l2NyA.facebook