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I just wrote this in my journal:

…I’m blogging about writing in my journal while writing in my journal about blogging…

(and sometimes the oddest mixes happen on shuffle)

Hope, of course, is always accompanied by the fear of hopelessness, which is a legitimate fear.

[…]

The point – the only interesting point – is that we have not quit. Ours is not a fight that you can stay on very long if you look on victory as a sign of triumph or on loss as a sign on defeat. We have not quit because we are not hopeless.

My own aim is not hopelessness. I am not looking for reasons to give up. I am looking for reasons to keep on. -Wendell Berry

and this is just beautiful:

I think I could watch that video all night.

In my journal, I just wrote the words “alpha-indifferent.” Which is not at all descriptive of my feelings about that video. More like this one:

Which brings us full circle. Thematically, if not rhythmically.

 

 

I took an allergy pill this morning, so I’m fading fast, but wanted to take the time to post these pics of Occupy Austin’s return to City Hall, which was converted to a show of solidarity for the Turkish resistance. Thanks so much to our local members of the Turkish community. My hope is that your friends and family are all safe, but still standing up for their freedom from tyranny and injustice. You are an inspiration.

 

❤ ❤ ❤

First heard the news of this today:

“IT WAS NEVER ONLY ABOUT THE PARK. THE PARK BECAME A SYMBOL FOR EVERYTHING THAT THE GOVERNMENT IS TEARING DOWN, THE TREES THEY CUT DOWN, THE HISTORY THEY DESTROYED, THE RIVERS THEY POLLUTED, THE SEAS THEY FILLED WITH CEMENT, ALL IN THE NAME OF ECONOMICAL GROWTH, AND OF COURSE THE LAWS THEY HAVE ENACTED TO ATTACK OUR PRIVATE LIVES.”

http://www.occupywallstreet.net/story/occupy-taksim-park-grows-after-raid-turkish-police

And things have become progressively worse:

And the kind of hope that only springs from resistance…

http://revoluciontrespuntocero.com/puentesur/increibles-imagenes-de-la-represion-en-turquia/

…and solidarity: https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=10151685267208245

Good summary report here: http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/worldviews/wp/2013/05/31/a-guide-to-whats-going-on-in-istanbuls-gezi-park/

For live streaming of the attacks (click on the blue video icon on the top right corner): http://www.dha.com.tr/

For continually updated photos of the attacks: http://occupygezipics.tumblr.com/

My heart goes out to the defenders of the commons in Turkey tonight. ❤

I always wanted to be a librarian, and now that I think of it, I kind of am. I have my library of zines and a plethora of letters and mail art from the era that I would most want to curate. Now I just need to find a way to share them.

I can share some here. I’ve spent my spare time today sorting through letters that I have in a box – mostly from around 1990-1994.

I’m pretty sure I have a box of letters that span the mid-late-80’s. At least I HOPE I do. I HOPE it didn’t get thrown away.

I will forever remember the box of mail and zines I left behind because it wouldn’t fit into my car when I moved out of the house on 49th street in a big hurry. I will always wonder what little pieces of my past remained behind in that box.

I’ve culled through letters several times, though. Tossing those that were inconsequential. Keeping those from people I really cared about. Looking back at them, I see so much I didn’t see then.

What remains is loveliness from all corners of the earth. From dear friends in IL, GA, MI, CA, CO…not to mention Finland, Denmark, England.

The perpetually-incarcerated artist/bankrobber.

The octogenarian poet from New York.

The crazy beatnik from Albuquerque who sent risque photo postcards. The shy young woman who sent artwork and poetry to me, tentatively.

The boy with a crush on me that I completely ignored due to my tendency to remain oblivious to such things. The junkie cartoonist from New York.

All, all, all committing paper to pen several times a month. So many letters that began with “I’m sorry it’s taken me so long to get back to you.” and “It was great to finally hear from you!”

I had their addresses memorized. Or, at least, their zip codes. I still think about them when I hear people say they are from some obscure town that someone I once knew hailed from. Midland, Michigan. Appleton, Wisconsin. Yellow River, Ohio. Fair Oaks, California. I would grow to love the way they shaped their letters and the pattern of punctuation the way most would love a face or a particular accent.

When I was in high school, I would frequently make my mother call me in sick so I could spend the day in my pajamas, answering mail. Writing letters. Waiting waiting waiting for the thick bundle of mail to drop between the screen door and the wooden door because there was too much to fit in the mailbox.

And there was mail art. Interesting envelopes. Who knows what mail I never received because of the container that held it.

Yesterday, I was thinking that my friend P is the kind of adult I always thought was cool when I was younger. Unassuming, and cool as shit. Today, glancing through this bit of my history, I realize – I am exactly the kind of adult that I wanted to be. And THAT is pretty damn cool.

Today is all about the sniffles. It’s been smelling like rain all day, but refusing to rain…and my sinuses have been doing their job, fortifying against the evil mold spores! I shall fire upon them with my plentiful mucus!

As I write this, I am hiding from my children. Holed up at my friend P’s house, watching cable television and doing laundry while she’s out of town. This happens way more frequently than I deserve, but not nearly as frequently as I desire. It’s nice to escape my houseful of boys on occasion.

But it’s also nice to be at P’s house, because it’s very P. I’m hoping she doesn’t mind that I just took a bunch of photos of what that means so I can share them with you. hahaha. (I texted to get her permission and she said “No worries.”)

This, is P…

And This is P…

…and this

and this…

and, oh, you catch my drift…

I think it’s abundantly clear why P is so awesome. ❤

Thanks for letting me housesit, P!!!!

Words that only come to me in disconnected ramblings. I have several articles bookmarked and random bits of essays written, but I haven’t had a chance to pull it all together. Or, more like, I haven’t been inspired to do so. Actually, more like it’s still brewing up there, and I am writing it in conversations I have throughout the days and I’m just waiting to be able to sit down and have it write itself.

Suffice to say, it has to do with the value of poetry and paintings. And how those things are devalued. And, you know how it goes…when you are suffering from writer’s malaise, everything has already been written, so what’s the point in rewriting it in inferior language. Just listen to The Ex song posted above…you’ll get the drift.

Or read this interview with Noam Chomsky:

Anarchism is quite different from that.  It calls for an elimination to tyranny, all kinds of tyranny.  Including the kind of tyranny that’s internal to private power concentrations.  So why should we prefer it?  Well I think because freedom is better than subordination.  It’s better to be free than to be a slave.  Its’ better to be able to make your own decisions than to have someone else make decisions and force you to observe them.  I mean, I don’t think you really need an argument for that.  It seems like … transparent. The thing you need an argument for, and should give an argument for, is, How can we best proceed in that direction?  And there are lots of ways within the current society.  One way, incidentally,  is through use of the state, to the extent that it is democratically controlled.  I mean in the long run, anarchists would like to see the state eliminated.  But it exists, alongside of private power, and the state is, at least to a certain extent, under public influence and control — could be much more so.  And it provides devices to constrain the much more dangerous forces of private power.  Rules for safety and health in the workplace for example.  Or insuring  that people have decent health care, let’s say.  Many other things like that.  They’re not going to come about through private power.

That’s about where my head is at right now.

 

Solsticephotowalk

Since last I wrote…

We Claim Our Common Wealth

I hung out at City Hall during the City Council Meeting…

Our Power!

Whose Power?

With a few friends. Witnessed a couple of resounding victories.

Passed my second test for work. Yay!

Marched Against Monsanto with some tiny superheroes…

No to GMOs

Are you smarter than me?

 

Not a Science Experiment

Superheroes!

Superheroes!

some bees and mutant tomatoes…

 

Bees!

 

Pesticides are Genocide

Pesticides are Genocide

IMG_8211I

And resistance…

baaaaaa

Resistance

Resistance

And I walked around the neighborhood, finding tiny perfections in all the little openings and closings that occur all around me on a regular basis…

Open Sunflower

Closed Sunflower

Forever and forever and forever.

 

 

 

 

 

Today started with _And the Ass Saw the Angel_

Breakfase

Breakfast

And ended with an Overpass Light Brigade.

IMG_8039

 

IMG_8042

Tomorrow, we take back #ourpower

IMG_8056

I hope to see you there.

 

To give you an idea of where my head is at tonight…I just spent about half an hour making this sign for my door:

Lainie's Lair

My New Door Sign

Proving a few things. First: That I probably have too much time on my hands. Second: That living with 4 boys is finally starting to get the better of me. Third: I’m either really rusty at freaking Microsoft Publisher, or this damn computer sucks. I’ma blame the controller this time.

Also the omnipresence of boys in my damn room. Ugh. Love those kids, but I’m trying to create a little sanctuary of Lainieness in here. Hehehe.

(And this is why I will never live with anyone I’m in a relationship with unless I have my own damn room. It doesn’t have to be big. It doesn’t have to be fancy. It just has to be mine. Mine Mine Mine.)

In other words, this is the one place in the house that doesn’t smell like permafart, and the mess contained within is almost always caused exclusively by me, and is usually not slimy, moldy, or otherwise offensive. At least not to me.

In other other words…it’s my goddess haven. ❤

Did I mention I’m going to paint the doors and closet with chalk paint so I can make chalk drawings on them? 🙂 I’m psyched. Also, I’m getting a lovely painting from one of my favorite superheroes to hang in the blank space over my dresser. It’s all limety-green.

Today was work, and reckoning, and saying goodbye. Again. There are multiple layers of goodbye, it seems. And it’s ok. I’m ok. It’s just…it takes time. And I’m taking my time. Savoring the heartbreak, because you never know when you’ll get your heart broken again.

This last bit of goodbye (for now. for now. for now) required a pleasant walk to the post office, and a lovely blustery return.

I saw Monk parakeets

and revisited the pomegranate tree

But still no rain.

(no politics tonight. <3)

Rug

Rug

My room/office is very slowly still coming together. The clutter! The clutter! I’m still sorting through the clutter. But this feels good on my feet, and my new chair feels good on my back, and hand-me-down furniture is really the best thing ever.

rumbled paradise

rumbled paradise

And there’s something about a freshly-made-then-rumpled bed. I was staring at it longingly all day. From my desk. About three feet away.

flowers

flowers

and absent-minded flower doodles.

I’m having to deal with issues surrounding the person I’m forever having to deal with issues surrounding. It’s annoying and frustrating. (I wanted to qualify that with a “but” statement, but…But what?)

But…nothing.

And then there’s…that.

Lots going on this week. But tonight, it’s dancing in my room, writing, reading…the usual.

***

This made me happy today:

The Warriors never set foot in the Bronx

This might come as a surprise, seeing as how the movie revolves around a New York City gang trying to make their way from the Bronx’s Van Cortlandt Park to Brooklyn’s Coney Island, but filming only took place in Manhattan, Brooklyn, and Queens. However, authenticity aside, The Warriors captured nighttime New York in a way that very few movies had previously, using some insanely brilliant and memorable locations.

Let’s see how many we can find.

http://www.scoutingny.com/?p=6629

CBS ALMOST gets it right:

In a special report on face recognition, 60 Minutes warns us that we have nowhere to hide — that our anonymous space is approaching non-existence. Framing the problem through a simplistic (and inaccurate) division between corporate and government deployments of the technology, CBS warns us that big business plans to exploit our faces for economic gain, whether we like it or not, while government plans to use the technology to keep us safe.

But all is not equal, the narrative says: according to the bureau, the FBI is bound by strict regulation and needs lots more data to be effective. Unfortunately, CBS repeats the government’s claims as journalistic fact — no matter that they are false.

http://www.privacysos.org/node/1065

This is amazing:

Foreclose on Banks Not People

Foreclose on Banks Not People

 

For more information:

Five years after Wall Street crashed the economy, not one banker has been prosecuted for the reckless and fraudulent practices that cost millions of Americans their jobs, threw our cities and schools into crisis, and left families and communities ravaged by a foreclosure crisis and epidemic of underwater mortgages.

Record profits are back at the bailed-out banks. Meanwhile:

  • Homeowners and communities have lost billions to Wall Street’s foreclosure crisis;
  • Millions more families face foreclosure in the coming months;
  • Communities of color have been impacted the most.

http://occupywallst.org/article/people_are_too_big_to_fail/

100 Days of Hunger:

Over the last three days Anonymous ‘Operation Guantanamo’ hashtags #OpGITMO and #GTMO have skyrocketed in popularity on Twitter, drawing attention to the 100th day of the inmates’ hunger strike, as their protest becomes a question of life and death.

http://rt.com/news/anonymous-twitter-guantanamo-strike-505/

Are you starting to see all of the connections yet?

Canada’s tar sands are the third biggest oil reserve in the world, but separating the oil from the rock is energy intensive and causes three to four times more carbon emissions per barrel than conventional oil. Hansen argues that it would be “game over” for the climate if tar sands were fully exploited, given that existing conventional oil and gas is certain to be burned.

“To leave our children with a manageable situation, we need to leave the unconventional fuel in the ground,” he said. Canada’s ministers were “acting as salesmen for those people who will gain from the profits of that industry,” he said. “But I don’t think they are looking after the rights and wellbeing of the population as a whole.

“The thing we are facing overall is that the fossil fuel industry has so much money that they are buying off governments,” Hansen said. “Our democracies are seriously handicapped by the money that is driving decisions in Washington and other capitals.”

http://www.guardian.co.uk/environment/2013/may/19/tar-sands-exploitation-climate-scientist

This is beautiful:

UPDATE: Midland Avenue Neighborhood Relief will be helping and reaching out to our neighbors in Oklahoma.We have seen charities and so called relief agencies fall short when it comes to keeping compassion and humanity when people are in need of help after a disaster.We will be forwarding resources and funds to the people of Oklahoma whether it be delivering it through mutual aid networks with ourselves on the ground or diverting funds to proper efforts there.We stand with Oklahoma. We know ourselves firsthand what it is like to be left to our own means.Help us stand with them. https://www.wepay.com/donations/midland-beach-relief

In case you didn’t hear:

A massive, mile-wide tornado touched down in Moore, Oklahoma Monday afternoon, killing at least 51 people, including 20 children. A reporter from local news station KFOR supposedly called it “the biggest, most destructive tornado in the history of the world,” and estimated it was two to three times the magnitude of the massive tornados that hit Oklahoma in 1999.

http://gawker.com/the-biggest-most-destructive-tornado-in-history-just-508956719?utm_campaign=socialflow_gawker_facebook&utm_source=gawker_facebook&utm_medium=socialflow

And, on that note…